I didn’t know much about our newest aspirant to the Great Green Goshawks so I wrote a letter to his local paper. I received a rather quick response from his next-door neighbor. A Ms. Lyyli Hyvärinta wrote,
"Oh, Mr. Makinen is a very nice neighbor. It’s so nice to see all those pretty Karhu beer bottles he has scattered all over the front yard. You should see how they shine and twinkle when the sun rises over his collection of forty-three rusting Renault Dauphines he has stacked about. He assures me that they will be popular again someday. Isn’t that nice? Yes, and it’s so nice that he uses his sauna to ferment his Kilju. The smell of rotting orange peels and wet bread is just so … nice. In the evenings it’s nice the way Mr. Makinen plays with the explosives he brings home from work. The nice veterinarian assures me that my dog, ‘Poofey’ will heal nicely after the surgery. Late in the evenings it’s so nice to hear he and his lovely girl friend play on the computer. Such nice loud noises! It reminds me of the war and all those nice memories of artillery shellings and bombing attacks back then. They are so nice to watch. Ah, youth, how playfull! His girl friend takes the computer out to the trash every morning and it’s so nice to hear Mr. Makinen yelling and screaming at the dustmen as he chases them down the street. Well, I could go on and on and on and on about how nice he is but it’s time I take another pill. My doctor assures me that if I take one every five minutes everything will stay so very, very nice."
Isn’t that nice? So, pop out of the sauna, kick off your skis and raise a glass to our newest member, :FI:Sapper-FIN!!